No Referral

To say that we were disappointed would be an understatement. When we heard the news from our agency, that the first batch of referrals they have received in 2 1/2 years, did not contain a referral for us, it was devastating. I cried for probably 3 hours, went to bed, woke up with swollen eyes and cried some more. {just being real here people} It felt as if someone had stabbed me in the stomach and then kept twisting the knife. I don't think I have ever in my life experienced such a painful event. That being said, even though I was sad and hurting, I throughout the entire experience felt an underlying sense of peace. A peace that I know only God can give during something like that. Being able to rest in the fact that God is good always, His name will be glorified always, He is always in control and He loves me, was SOOO comforting to me. I have learned so many lessons during this adoption process and evidently God has more for me to learn through it, by extending the process. {Glory be to God} I am happy to learn those lessons even if they bring pain, because God doesn't just take us through a trial and abandon us....He walks with us through it every step of the way. I didn't find myself this week questioning God, but rather trusting in Him. I found myself looking for ways to give God glory in this situation rather than focusing on my hurt. Our pastor had just Sunday preached on 1 Chron 16 about God's glory. What perfect God-led timing for this message this week! This whole adoption experience would be REALLY tough without being able to trust in the one that loves us the most. As Tom said to me this week, "It's like a child asking his parent for ice-cream at 10pm. There is nothing wrong with the ice-cream and as a parent we take pleasure in giving our kids things they desire. But we also know that is not the time for something like that. We know that we will let them have it tomorrow at a reasonable time. But it's hard for the child to understand that.....they want it NOW." How much can we parallel this with our relationship to God. He called our family to adopt. Adopting is a good thing, in His timing. He sees the big pictures as to when the time is right, but because we don't see things as God sees them we want what we want NOW. If only we can see things as God sees them. I pray that my attitude and heart reflects glory and praise to God in what work He is doing in me, rather than bringing undeserved attention to myself and the hurts I am experiencing. {All Glory be to HIM}

Anxious Anticipation

I don't have much to say, except that we are anxiously awaiting news either today or Wednesday that we have been matched with a child!!! Words cannot even begin to express the feeling of excitement and anticipation to meet the child that God designed to be in our family from even before we were created!!!! To get but a glimpse of the love Christ has for His children as shown to us in the gospel of adoption, has been worth it all. The unconditional love I can have for a child that is not biologically my own, and of whom I have never met or seen, has been amazing. It all points back to God and His love for us! What an amazing love! A love that I cannot and will not ever be able to completely understand. But one that I am truly thankful for! Our pastor spoke yesterday on the Glory of God. Such an eloquent and powerful message as he reminded us that everything we do (from eating an ice-cream cone to driving to work) should point us back to God's glory, therefore calling us to worship Him! Am I living my life in light of that truth? Am I teaching my children to do the same? I hope we can all answer "Yes"!!

Give a girl a glimmer of hope and the waiting becomes unbearable!!

Going on three weeks ago now, we were told that 9 files were on their way from Asia to our agency. After hearing this news I cried for the next hour and a half. You see, I haven't let my emotions get the best of me very often in the process. But evidently when it rains, it pours....

The last time I had an emotional outburst like this was last summer when we were told files were on their way.....they never came. I am praying that this time is not the same.

God has taught us MANY lessons on this journey. Mostly to trust in His timing and to find our joy and contentment in Him and not in our circumstances. Sounds so easy to do, and at times when all is going well, it is easy. It's during the trials of our life that what's really in our hearts comes out....and unfortunately it can be very ugly (I speak for myself). I am thankful for these times, as hard as they are, because I know that I am just in the sanctification process. These times open my eyes to what I lack in spiritual growth and where I can learn from God and others!

The other main lesson that I have learned (and still am learning) is that it is NOT about me. God is a jealous God and He WILL get the glory no matter what. It glorifies Him for us to be in a trial and lean and depend on Him.....oh that it would not take a trial for me to do this all the time. A friend of mine recently wrote in a note on trusting God "We are forced to choose between trusting God intentionally or rebelling against His very character and will, resenting His ways or timing." Ouch, just the punch in the gut I needed last week to get me out of a pity party of despair because God isn't giving me my child. When you look at it in light of I'm rebelling and resenting His character, kind of hard to still want my own way and timing in the situation.

Do I want my child home with us?? More than you can imagine. Do I think that it is a countries fault that it is taking so long? Absolutely not. If God had wanted us to have our girl last year, He would have done it. He had more lessons for us to learn and for that I am grateful! He is my teacher and I am for eternity His student!

Praying we get some amazing news this week!

My little girl is somehow 12!!

I just can't seem to get over how quickly kids grow up. It seems like just last year I was teaching our oldest how to tie her shoes and ride her bike....and now she is a 12 year old tween!

For her party she picked an Asian Theme. We had SOO much fun putting it together!

{The Party Table with the Birthday Girl}

{They got their names Caligraphied in Japanese}

{Keelan's Name}

{They Learned how to make Sushi!}

{More Calligraphy!}

{Girl Eating}

{Making Origami}

{The Cake.....that nearly brought me to tears!}

{The favor boxes I embellished}

{Personalized glasses I made}

Such a fun party and memories!

It's Birthday time in our house......

My youngest daughters birthday is January, then my husband and oldest daughter have February birthdays and my son has an April birthday......it's just months of partying!!

For my youngest's birthday we did a Paris Poodle theme.....So much fun for both of us, cause we are both girly girls!!!

Here are a few pics from the party:

Here are a few more of the decorations:

I made each of the girls a purse treat bag and a personalized glass with their name on it! SO fun!


We had fun games and crafts too:

And Last but not least....The Cake....so much fun to make

This stop Paris.....next stop Asia for my 12 year olds Asian theme party!!! Fun fun fun!

Tis the Season!!!

To be Jolly! I don't really have anything new to say, but I just felt the need to post, since it's been over a month!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Tom's family in South Carolina. The kids had a blast playing with their cousins in Nana & Grandpa Lacock's woods! Armed with rubber boots and grubby clothes they still managed to get filthy and loved every minute of it!

We will be home for Christmas as all of my family is coming to Indy for the Holiday. Can't wait to see cousins I haven't seen in years! I love decorating the house and getting everything ready for Holiday party's and get-togethers!

We got an email last week from our agency saying the same thing they have heard since July....."We have a batch of referrals for your agency that just need the final sign-off on them and then we will send them." I learned the hard way in July not to get my hopes up about this news :( But we continue to long for and pray for our little girl in Thailand. And we definitely CAN'T WAIT to meet her!

Merry Christmas, Sweet Girl! We love you!

God is Good.....Always!!

This little phrase seems to easily roll off our lips in times of joy, doesn't it? When we get exciting news, a raise at work, a new house...etc. There are times, though, when this phrase takes a lot of prayer and trusting in God to say.

I was so encouraged in reading Nahum 1 and Lamentations 3 today. In the beginning of Lam. 3 the writer is in deep despair as he feels God is not with him or is punishing him, but then the truth of who God is is brought to His mind and this is what he says:
21.But this I call to mind, (notice this is a choice he makes!)
and therefore I have hope:
22.The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;[b]
his mercies never come to an end;
23.they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24."The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."
25.The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
26.It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

It is so encouraging that the Holy Spirit brings to mind in times of struggle the fact that God is good.....Always. God loves us.....Always. God is Merciful and Faithful.....Always!

The longer the wait in this adoption process, it seems the more I need to be reminded of this. It IS easy to remember, God is good.....always, in times of joy. BUT it is just as easy to remember, God is good.....always, in times of struggle as an exceptionally blessed follower of Christ who, if I just look around, can see thousands of ways God is showing me His love and faithfulness everyday......none of which I am worthy or deserve save the imputed righteousness of Christ!!!

If you are struggling with something right now I pray that Lamentations and Nahum will be an encouragement to you as well!