Give a girl a glimmer of hope and the waiting becomes unbearable!!
Going on three weeks ago now, we were told that 9 files were on their way from Asia to our agency. After hearing this news I cried for the next hour and a half. You see, I haven't let my emotions get the best of me very often in the process. But evidently when it rains, it pours....
The last time I had an emotional outburst like this was last summer when we were told files were on their way.....they never came. I am praying that this time is not the same.
God has taught us MANY lessons on this journey. Mostly to trust in His timing and to find our joy and contentment in Him and not in our circumstances. Sounds so easy to do, and at times when all is going well, it is easy. It's during the trials of our life that what's really in our hearts comes out....and unfortunately it can be very ugly (I speak for myself). I am thankful for these times, as hard as they are, because I know that I am just in the sanctification process. These times open my eyes to what I lack in spiritual growth and where I can learn from God and others!
The other main lesson that I have learned (and still am learning) is that it is NOT about me. God is a jealous God and He WILL get the glory no matter what. It glorifies Him for us to be in a trial and lean and depend on Him.....oh that it would not take a trial for me to do this all the time. A friend of mine recently wrote in a note on trusting God "We are forced to choose between trusting God intentionally or rebelling against His very character and will, resenting His ways or timing." Ouch, just the punch in the gut I needed last week to get me out of a pity party of despair because God isn't giving me my child. When you look at it in light of I'm rebelling and resenting His character, kind of hard to still want my own way and timing in the situation.
Do I want my child home with us?? More than you can imagine. Do I think that it is a countries fault that it is taking so long? Absolutely not. If God had wanted us to have our girl last year, He would have done it. He had more lessons for us to learn and for that I am grateful! He is my teacher and I am for eternity His student!
Praying we get some amazing news this week!
The last time I had an emotional outburst like this was last summer when we were told files were on their way.....they never came. I am praying that this time is not the same.
God has taught us MANY lessons on this journey. Mostly to trust in His timing and to find our joy and contentment in Him and not in our circumstances. Sounds so easy to do, and at times when all is going well, it is easy. It's during the trials of our life that what's really in our hearts comes out....and unfortunately it can be very ugly (I speak for myself). I am thankful for these times, as hard as they are, because I know that I am just in the sanctification process. These times open my eyes to what I lack in spiritual growth and where I can learn from God and others!
The other main lesson that I have learned (and still am learning) is that it is NOT about me. God is a jealous God and He WILL get the glory no matter what. It glorifies Him for us to be in a trial and lean and depend on Him.....oh that it would not take a trial for me to do this all the time. A friend of mine recently wrote in a note on trusting God "We are forced to choose between trusting God intentionally or rebelling against His very character and will, resenting His ways or timing." Ouch, just the punch in the gut I needed last week to get me out of a pity party of despair because God isn't giving me my child. When you look at it in light of I'm rebelling and resenting His character, kind of hard to still want my own way and timing in the situation.
Do I want my child home with us?? More than you can imagine. Do I think that it is a countries fault that it is taking so long? Absolutely not. If God had wanted us to have our girl last year, He would have done it. He had more lessons for us to learn and for that I am grateful! He is my teacher and I am for eternity His student!
Praying we get some amazing news this week!
Ugh. SO HARD! I get so wrapped up in my own little journey and the difficulties that sometimes I forget to look around and see how hard the journeys of others are. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you! I'm praying with you that this week is YOUR WEEK! It is the little bits of hope that really ruin us! Ha! Hang in there, and we long to celebrate with you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sweet testimony, Steph. What a powerful thought to consider of WHO we choose to rebel against and how that puts your attitude back in check. I'm going to copy it down, not just for myself, but for the family. I might even put it on canvas to put on the wall! It's truth spoken 100%. Still praying for you and so looking forward to that day when we see the post that your own your way to Thai! :-) We're going to have a partee over here! LOVE YOU! - a
ReplyDeleteHaving jut come back from China with my dear friends and their long awaits for first baby, it is going to be glorious and His timing is perfect. It was a privilege to be a part of so many families saving o many children in need.
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