My first PDE....
Well most everyone has heard of PDA (public display of affection) or have seen way too much of it while out and about.....you know those couples you just want to tell "get a room"!! Well, yesterday I had my first PDE, which is a little different than PDA, but just as embarrassing!! PDE (public display of emotion)
It was Saturday night and this was Tom and my week for our date night. (we swap every other week with our neighbors!) Date nights are always exciting. Get dressed up, and by dressed up I mean lose the yoga pants and t-shirt that are my daily staple as a stay-at-home mom, and actually put on makeup and do my hair!!!
Annnywho, it is also fun to pick where we are going to go to dinner or what we are going to do - all by ourselves. Normally, you see, our choices for these things are based on the children that accompany us! So this week we decided to try out a Japanese restaurant that is attached to a Japanese grocery store. Very small place, but good food! We are sitting at the table enjoying the adult conversation with each other, while waiting on our sushi to be prepared. I am observing all the Asian people (including several little girls) coming in and out of the store and thinking about how much I long for our referral. I must have let out an audible sigh because Tom asked me what was wrong. Not wanting to be a "Debbie Downer" and ruin our date I said what most men hate to hear "Oh nothing!" This is the point where men are torn as to what to do with that comment; do they keep prodding with the fear of hearing the real answer or do they change the subject with fear of being cold, heartless and insensitive for not inquiring further as to what is bothering the one they love?!!
Well, Tom jumped in with both feet, not fearful (at least visibly) of what answer might be waiting for him on the other side of his prodding. Well, what he got was an answer of "I just really want our referral!"....followed by tears.
Now thankfully we were seated by a window and I could face out the window and slowly wipe the tears, as if my face kept itching in the area right under my eyeball. But I don't think my husband quite knew what to do with this PDE moment of mine. Poor guy tried to change the subject at that point....a little too late :) I think he just wanted to keep me talking in the hopes that the tears and emotions couldn't quite flow through while I was in conversation. It actually worked pretty well and before long I was back to normal with dry eyes!!
Who knew that this place would bring out so many emotions in me that night. I think it is this wait that is killing me right now. The fact that I know there are referrals "on their way" and yet 1 to 2 weeks has now turned in to going on week 4.
So now I just continue to wait (hopefully with much less pde) but I will still say that every time our home phone rings might heart jumps just a little. Which is terrible because then I get almost disappointed when it is anyone else.....I should never be disappointed when my husband calls me right?!
Praying, praying, praying we hear something this week......
It was Saturday night and this was Tom and my week for our date night. (we swap every other week with our neighbors!) Date nights are always exciting. Get dressed up, and by dressed up I mean lose the yoga pants and t-shirt that are my daily staple as a stay-at-home mom, and actually put on makeup and do my hair!!!
Annnywho, it is also fun to pick where we are going to go to dinner or what we are going to do - all by ourselves. Normally, you see, our choices for these things are based on the children that accompany us! So this week we decided to try out a Japanese restaurant that is attached to a Japanese grocery store. Very small place, but good food! We are sitting at the table enjoying the adult conversation with each other, while waiting on our sushi to be prepared. I am observing all the Asian people (including several little girls) coming in and out of the store and thinking about how much I long for our referral. I must have let out an audible sigh because Tom asked me what was wrong. Not wanting to be a "Debbie Downer" and ruin our date I said what most men hate to hear "Oh nothing!" This is the point where men are torn as to what to do with that comment; do they keep prodding with the fear of hearing the real answer or do they change the subject with fear of being cold, heartless and insensitive for not inquiring further as to what is bothering the one they love?!!
Well, Tom jumped in with both feet, not fearful (at least visibly) of what answer might be waiting for him on the other side of his prodding. Well, what he got was an answer of "I just really want our referral!"....followed by tears.
Now thankfully we were seated by a window and I could face out the window and slowly wipe the tears, as if my face kept itching in the area right under my eyeball. But I don't think my husband quite knew what to do with this PDE moment of mine. Poor guy tried to change the subject at that point....a little too late :) I think he just wanted to keep me talking in the hopes that the tears and emotions couldn't quite flow through while I was in conversation. It actually worked pretty well and before long I was back to normal with dry eyes!!
Who knew that this place would bring out so many emotions in me that night. I think it is this wait that is killing me right now. The fact that I know there are referrals "on their way" and yet 1 to 2 weeks has now turned in to going on week 4.
So now I just continue to wait (hopefully with much less pde) but I will still say that every time our home phone rings might heart jumps just a little. Which is terrible because then I get almost disappointed when it is anyone else.....I should never be disappointed when my husband calls me right?!
Praying, praying, praying we hear something this week......
Bless your sweet heart. I'm so sorry. I've thought of you often recently and wondered how you were doing. We're praying about a little boy in China right now who has FIVE heart defects and needs surgery yesterday...we are sending his file to some doctors but the start up costs are nearly $7K {first two months} and so it might as well be seven million. If he doesn't have surgery, he will die. It keeps me up at night. These sweet babies who need their mamas and daddies.
ReplyDeleteWell...I have a pretty terrible PDE story myself. If you want to make yourself feel better, have a gander at this one!
http://www.faithfamilyadoption.com/2009/08/feeling-crummy.html
But, God is good! Check out what happened next!
http://www.faithfamilyadoption.com/2009/09/boy-and-his-truck.html
Hold fast to Jesus, sweet friend. He will redeem the lost time. Unspeakable joy is coming your way.
Love and prayers~
Kam
I'm so sorry!!! I was thinking about you this morning, and went to FB to send you a message, and found your link to this. I was hoping for your referral, too!!! :( I can TOTALLY relate to PDE!!! It's part of the adoption process. We waited so long to get Lily home that I was actually downright depressed by the end of our wait. I hate to even admit that, but it's the truth. The wait is so tough!
ReplyDeletePraying for you today, friend! Sending hugs your way!
Ellie
Hi, Stephanie. So sorry! The wait is SO hard. It bring out all kinds of emotions. I was the same way. Would get all teary eyed in the baby section of the grocery store! This isn't easy stuff - waiting for that paperwork to finally come so you can get your baby. But hang in there. Soon you will have your child home and you will be able to look back on this and smile. Good luck to you. I sure hope you get that referral soon!
ReplyDelete